it's hurt knowing that you would rather be hanging out with someone else, it really hurt when i was told you wouldn't come out with us the other night because you didn't want to deal with me and it really fucking hurt when you said that i'm the reason you would rather be with other people instead of us. i was sitting at my computer screen just listening to your ranting at me, which was about me. i was sitting there with tears in my eyes and just taking it all in because that's what i do. you're one of the very little group of people who i listen to and who i'm willing to change for but lately i just couldn't give a fuck and that scares me. i can't even look you in the eye, i don't know what i believe anymore. you may not be moving four hours away anymore, but it sure feels like you already have and you're not even a ten minute walk away. you're one of my best friends and i would put you infront of almost anyone, but when it comes to me it seems i'm always the second option. or third, or fourth.