That's it.

My diaries are filled with entries about you and not much else, my blogs have words and photos that are about you, I try my hardest not to talk about you, I try my hardest not to think about you, there are things all around my room that you gave me, wrote me or that remind me of you. Your favourite band still occupys alot of room on my ipod, I go past the park by my house everyday that you and I would always meet at and I always look down your street when I walk past it almost hoping you'll be there. I miss you uncontrolably and I have never hated anything on this earth more than you. The past couple of months I have tried to change myself so I wouldn't be reminded everyday of who I was when I had you in my life. Diets, clothes, hair colour, my personality, my vocabulary, the way I walk and talk. I saw you yesterday and you didn't look too great, and as selfish as this is, I liked that. I wouldn't say I've been expecting you to come back to me, I guess I've been waiting for someone to pull me out of this and save me. I've been waiting for someone to come and show me what love is again. But guess what? No one has. What I'm trying to say is that, I'm not going to keep on waiting for this person. I've felt lonely, I've felt alone, I've felt destroyed, I've felt like no one has wanted me around these past fews months and finally I have learnt how to be strong. So thankyou, Deion. I let you get inside of me and tear me apart and I have built myself back up to be a better person. I deserve so much more.