if i could let myself i would tell you so many things. like, how i just can't stop thinking about you. that i always search for you at school. that your new haircut is stupid, but now that it's grown out a little i sorta like it. i would tell you how i still sometimes defend what people say about you. that it makes me feel sick when i see you, but it's not in a bad way. a nervous way. i hate it when you don't walk past me after recess or lunch. i want to ask you if you're okay because all your friends have gone and because i saw you hanging out with people i know you don't like today. i want to ask you if you're scared about next year because i am. i want you to tell me you never meant what you said and that it was only out of anger once again, that you miss me and i want you to come and hug me too tight.