whenever i would walk into your room you would be doing homework. you were the girl in class who always did the homework, always finished the assignments, straight A's were your thing. i walked through the corridors and saw you holding up one of your many awards and smiling. whenever i would walk into your room, if life on the murder scene wasn't on, my chemical romance would be playing and you would be sketching superheroes. all you spoke about was school, how no one liked you, how if you weren't sitting by yourself at lunch or sitting in the library, you'd be in the bathrooms crying. when i walked into your bedroom, you would be wearing skateshoes, black skinny jeans and you would be holding your skateboard. "let's go down to the school and skate." black and white images covered your draws, god how i wanted to be you. now when i walk into your new bedroom, three posters in a single line cover your wall. there isn't a thing on the ground because you've been down the coast for the past few days. your keys are on your bedside table and you're telling me about one of the many times when you were drunk, how everything is "so good, so good." you tell me about all the new people you meet, all the new inside jokes, another time you were off your face. but i don't care; i don't care that you drink, i don't care that you go over your limit, i don't care that you hook up with random guys at parties and i don't care that you apparently aren't ever home. while we were driving and as you were telling me another story, i saw the smile on your face i realised that this is all you've ever wanted. and even though you've changed so fucking much it scares me sometimes? i love you just the same.
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