there are many things that i don't deal with, there are many things that i push to the back of my head, there are things i force myself not to think about. one of them? is you. another one of them is next year. i hate being told that i need to 'pull my socks up' and get on with my school work and to not let anyone get in the way of that. what if i don't want to? what if i don't want to go to college? if i don't want to study to become an art teacher? as far as i'm concerned, you don't exsist.