You know, some days it feels as if I'm this tiny speck of white in a void of endless and infinite black mess. It's kind of suffocating at times. People laugh at me when I'm sitting by myself and I'm like, so fucking what? I like being on my own, I like not being bothered. I dated alot of people a couple years back thinking it would lead me to somewhere useful or that it would make me realise who I am. Guess what? It didn't. What really made me aware of who I am is being left alone. Is being lonely, is being scared, is having no one. Lately I've been thinking about becoming an author. I think I could really write the raw and honest truth of people. I can see myself in an apartment like Carrie's, exactly like her. I'm honestly only interested in love stories of some kind, and I thought of my own love story and gagged at the thought of having to re-live you. Sometimes I feel like utterly fucking my life up just so I have something interesting to write about.