you are alive and you were given the grace to wake up another day.

take trains by yourself to places you have never been. sleep alone under the stars. go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. say no whenever you don’t want to do something. say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. decide if fitting in is more important than finding out what you’re doing here. and believe in kissing.

the one thing i remember from that house are the draws in your wardrobe and how they were always caving in. those light blue, shitty ass draws that you kept your t-shirts in. you always asked dad to fix them and he never did. he usually laughed at how angry you get, he still does. now i realise that, that was home.

1. i'll study harder because last term i was lazy about it. 2. i'll eat healthier and lose some weight because these past few weeks i've been slack with that. 3. i'll concentrate more in class this term. no i won't, these are things i'd really like; but more than that i'd like to have the motivation to do these things again. i'm too tired and have been for awhile.

because no one really realises what's out there. no one really realises what they could really be getting. no one really realises that someone could be having it much worse.

is it worth it, can you even hear me? standing with your spotlight on me. not enough to feed the hungry. i'm tired and i felt it for awhile now. in this sea of lonely the taste of ink is getting old. it's four o' clock in the fucking morning, each day gets more and more like the last day. still i can see it coming, while i'm standing in the river drowning. this could be my chance to break out, this could be my chance to say goodbye. at last it's finally over; couldn't take this town much longer. being half dead wasn't what i planned to be, now i'm ready to be free. so here i am, it's in my hands. and i'll savor every moment of this. so here i am alive at last. won't you think i'm pretty when i'm standing top the bright lit city and i'll take your hand and pick you up and keep you there so you can see it. as long as you're alive and care, i promise i will take you there. we'll drink and dance the night away, we'll drink and dance the night away.

losing interest and motivation to do things that used to be enjoyable. withdrawing socially and not wanting to see people. difficulty concentrating on schoolwork, leading to falling grades. tiredness, aches and pains. changes in sleeping pattern (difficulty sleeping or sleeping more than usual). changes in appetite and weight (feeling more hungry or less hungry). feeling useless, worthless and unloved. black, pessimistic thoughts about the future. thoughts of death and acts of self-harm.