i want to be the glue that holds somones peices together. i was just sitting there thinking why am i feeling this way? why do i feel like i'm slipping again? why do i feel lonely when i have amazing people in my life that i love immensly. i don't want them to feel offended if they read this but i just don't feel close to them. i don't feel close to anyone and i haven't in awhile. i have someone i can go to about anything and trust with anything, but i literally feel as if there's a wall around myself that can't let anyone in. i want to tell someone everything, i want someone to get me like you did, i want to have a dnm with someone like we did. fucking hell sometimes i wish i never even met you. why did you have to make me like this? i hate how i am. this is all your fault and us being 'friends' is making this all worse.
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