about three weeks ago i did it. it really didn't make me feel better, it made me hurt more and it didn't take anything away. in all honesty it made me feel incredibly ugly and disgusting. thinking about it now, i just feel weird. weird because it was the first time since last year when i promised him i wouldn't do it and i'd go to him if i felt like i wanted to. i don't have him to go to anymore.
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