So nearlly a month ago I woke to my boyfriend's ex girlfriend sending me message about how my boyfriend said numerous things. She also sent me the screen caps of their conversation. These things included, 1. I do not sexually satisfy him. When a weekend before that I was at his house, and it did not seem like I wasn't satisfying him. This was the last time I saw him because he pretty much stopped communicating with me except for small talk on Facebook. 2. He said that he liked her more than he liked me, and that he couldn't dump me because I was too attatched. When not long after this I was sitting with him where we usually did, and he told me about how attatched to me he was and that he felt stupid because he thought I didn't feel the same way. Regardless of these things, I spent hours on the phone with him listening to him explain that it was all taken out of context, that everything he said was a joke and people should learn to figure out when he's joking. I made myself forgive him, I told myself it wasn't a big deal, because I honestly wanted to be with him so much, that I believed he was the victim. You told me you would never speak to your ex, that she was dead to you and you wouldn't let this ruin us. You told me you would always be there for me, and I felt okay. I felt that we were on edge but I didn't think that what's happened since then would have ever happened. We got off the phone, you said you loved me and you said you would always be there for me. I thought we were so lovely together. We got along so well, there was never a dull moment. You were constantly telling me how beautiful I was, you were constantly telling me how I was the perfect girl for you. And I believed you. You had me convinced we were going to last years, and I could feel that we were. I can still hear the way you strung your words together to make me melt, I can still feel your touch on my body and it makes me cringe. The next night you tell me you think we aren't working, ON FUCKING FACEBOOK. We aren't going to work, because you feel nothing let alone anything for me because you had lost your best friend. You said I deserved better and I agreed. I agreed that I deserved better, from you. So despite him saying he loved me, and that he would always be there for me he then proceeded to delete me from Facebook and ignore my messages. I haven't spoken to him since, because he refuses to make any kind of contact with me. I spent awile on my own and not speaking to anyone and just trying to accept that he wasn't in my life anymore. And recently I've been keeping myself distracted until I read online that you and your ex are friends again. That pissed me off. Tonight I read you and your ex are dating. I am beyond fucking pissed off. I have no words to explain how hurt and betrayed I am, I am literally shaking. It's not the fact that he is dating someone, but because he's dating the person he said he hated and that if he ever saw her, he would punch her in the face even though he's against hitting women. I swear, you had better hope I'm not by myself if I ever see you again because I will fucking rip you to shreds you fucking peice of shit. You were the biggest waste of time, I wish I had never met you and I wish I had never let myself fall for you. I'm at the place where I just want to see you in pain. I want to see you crying and bleeding and I want to cause the bleeding. Mother fucking fuck, how dare you do this to me. I deserve fucking respect you cunt. I don't feel like crying, because you don't deserve my tears. I want this feeling to go away and the one way I can think of I told myself I wouldn't.