i shouldn't have gone back to you so many times. i shouldn't have given you so many chances to prove yourself. i shouldn't have waited so long to see if you would change. i still shouldn't be scared of hurting you when some days you throw your insults at me like they're fucking knives. i shouldn't be your friend. i shouldn't have done what i did this afternoon. i shouldn't have told myself 'this is the last time.' when i knew it wasn't going to be. when you told me you admire me for how strong i am, how you love how easily i can tell people to fuck off once they've done something wrong to me, how i just don't put up with peoples crap, i smiled, when all i could think was 'that's a lie.' some people at least deserved a second chance, when you, you have had more given to you than i can count. but you know what really sucks about this whole thing? it will be a completely different story tomorrow. i'll probably forgive you again. i don't want to be in fucking love with you anymore.
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